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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836686">we won't be alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidwaren/pseuds/voidwaren'>voidwaren</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Finale What Finale, Fix-It, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Language</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:27:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidwaren/pseuds/voidwaren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester’s path to heaven hadn’t exactly been everything he’d wanted it to be.</p><p>Kinda CODA kinda rewrite s15e20 fix-it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we won't be alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wasn’t going to do this. I don’t even go here. But that finale stuck with me and, dammit, I really feel for you guys. You got straight up mugged in a back alleyway and then gaslit to high fucking heaven when you tried to speak up about it.</p><p>(apologies for any missteps in canon or character representation. I’ve only seen up through s8 as of writing this and only know of anything else via stalking of the Destiel tag on Tumblr and picking up what I could from various YouTube edits. I’ve read one (1) Supernatural fic. 8x14 is actually exactly what spawned this, because I saw that ep after the finale and went, “Well FUCK that.” And then wrote this. I’ll probably rewrite it once I actually finish the whole show, but here’s this for now.)</p><p>Title from We're Going Home by Vance Joy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean Winchester’s path to heaven hadn’t exactly been everything he’d wanted it to be.</p><p>He hadn’t gone out with a bang, guns blazing glory, his brother and his best friend, the only people he’d ever needed in the world, by his side like he’d dreamed of over the countless years of hunting down things that should never exist.</p><p>No, he’d gone out with barely a fizzle, taking care of some cleanup job his dad hadn’t managed to finish in the twenty-odd goddamn years he’d been hunting through the same country he kept running beneath his wheels, on a wayward jut of rebar in a barn by a stupid fucking vampire.</p><p>A <em>vampire</em>. In a <em>mask</em>. Like he hadn’t faced down dozens of those before. Like he hadn’t <em>befriended</em> one, almost <em>been</em> one, like they were some hotshot new monster of the week and Dean had been green all over again, meeting an early fate due to an ill-timed failure to move the right way at the right time.</p><p>Dean Winchester had gone from the world in a way he was embarrassed to admit to—in a way so far from what he’d wanted that his first step into heaven had been half a cringe on memory alone.</p><p>But, impaled he had been, and he’d spent his last moments saying goodbye to his baby brother, which, okay. <em>Was</em> part of the way he actually wanted to go, he had to give whoever was fucking his horse dry now that Chuck was done with that little bit of credit, at least. It wasn’t <em>his</em> fault he’d taken a lot longer to die than he’d anticipated, though.</p><p>Hell, he’d spent so long on that goodbye that Bobby had stuck it to him the second he’d walked over the threshold of his heaven house and wrangled him into his grasp. He’d hugged Dean close, given him a moment to breathe in the life he’d forgotten how to miss as desperately as he used to, and then he wrenched Dean away again, not too soon, with a fury worthy of the very depths of Hell blazing in his eyes.</p><p>“You stupid son of a bitch!” Bobby had said in his Bobby way, all coarse and caring with a bite that set you straight. “You bleeding <em>idjit</em>! You could have gotten help in all that time you wasted flapping your lips! What were you <em>thinking</em>, Dean?”</p><p>Dean had fought a wince in turn, keeping his expression impassive, if a little annoyed at being scolded. He hadn’t thought about who would be watching him as he did his dying deed. He was too busy doing the deed itself.</p><p>But Bobby was right, and Dean knew that. Dean knew he had given the moments that probably would have ended with him alive to Sam as he bled to death in his arms. Dean knew it had been a dumb move at the end of it all. He was aware of what he had done. In fact, it would haunt him for the rest of his afterlife.</p><p>What Dean didn’t know was how to tell Bobby he’d been too afraid he’d be gone by the time Sam got back to allow him to leave at all, and goodbyes were something he’d learned to give with whatever time he thought he had left, because he’d missed too many of those over the years, and he regretted every single loss even after he’d made it back again. He didn’t want that one—the one he was giving to the man he’d fucking <em>rasied</em>—to be one of them. Dead or not, he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself afterward if it had.</p><p>So, he’d asked Sammy to stay, and he’d gotten his goodbye. And, as fate would have it, he probably would have survived that time if he’d only just bothered to shut the hell up and let Sam go get help.</p><p>But Dean didn’t know how to tell Bobby any of that. He didn’t know how to explain to Bobby why he’d done it. He didn’t have the words. He wasn't even sure he even knew them in the first place.</p><p>He let Bobby rip at him a little longer, not saying a word in return, and then he let Bobby hold him close again, because he knew Bobby was only upset Dean was there at all, and Dean had no right to take that indignance away from the man that basically adopted him as his own and kept him alive during hunts that could very easily have gone just as wrong.</p><p>Bobby held him, grumbled a bit more, and then, when he was satisfied with his tongue lashing, sat Dean down on his porch and slapped a beer in his hand.</p><p>“Not gonna lie, this isn’t what I thought it would be,” Dean said after taking a long pull of the bottle.</p><p>“Heaven? Yeah, she got one hell of a makeover. It’s a big, new world out there.” Bobby sipped his beer and said, smirking, “That kid of yours is something.”</p><p>Dean’s lips quirked. Was he really going to go through heaven as <em>God’s adoptive parent</em>?</p><p>… Did <em>all</em> of heaven think that? That would be weird.</p><p>“He really is,” Dean agreed. “Did this all on his own, huh?”</p><p>Bobby opened his mouth and then hesitated, like he wasn’t sure what he was about to say. “He had some help,” he ended up responding cryptically, and then ignored the inquisitive look Dean shot him in turn. “Pretty neat setup, though. Your parents are right down the road.”</p><p>Dean took another long pull of his beer, that information processing in his mind. He felt no pull to immediately go visit them like he might have in another life, but he also didn’t feel the need to wonder why that was. He had all of eternity to see them, after all. He’d do it when he felt like it.</p><p>Bobby seemed to sense Dean’s quiet disregard for that fact. “Someone else also followed you along up here,” he added on slowly, and Dean felt his heart nearly rocket up into his throat in response. He looked sharply at Bobby, fear coming back to life in his gut.</p><p>No. He didn’t— Sam <em>didn’t</em>—</p><p>But when Dean followed the pointing finger Bobby gave him in response to his startled reaction, it wasn’t Sam standing in the distance like he’d been afraid of. Elation replaced the panic swiftly, and Dean nearly jumped out of the chair as he delightedly loped his way towards the love of his life.</p><p>“<em>Baby</em>!” he borderline cooed as he closed the distance to the Impala. The perfect sunlight reflected off her black chassis, alighting something in Dean’s chest, and he felt like a kid in a Christmas commercial as he took in the fact she had followed him to heaven.</p><p>“Jesus, Dean,” Bobby half-laughed, coming up behind Dean with a mildly disturbed look on his face. “It’s just a goddamn car.”</p><p>“Shh, he doesn’t mean it,” Dean consoled, stroking the steering wheel through the open window, then cracked open the door and slid into the seat. “It ain’t heaven without you.”</p><p>“Thought I’d have you for longer,” Bobby griped, but he was smiling. “You gonna take her for a spin? It’s pretty nice ‘round here.”</p><p>“Yeah, I think I will. I’d like to see what’s around.”</p><p>“Drive that way, ‘bout twenty minutes,” Bobby told him, jabbing a thumb in a direction Dean barely paid attention to as he caressed Baby like he hadn’t seen her in years. “You’ll find someone you’re looking for.”</p><p>Dean frowned up at Bobby. Bobby wasn’t pointing in the same direction he’d said John and Mary were. “What are you talking about? I’m not looking for anyone. I just got here.”</p><p>Even more confusing, Bobby only shot Dean a wink. “Sure you ain’t,” he replied cryptically, then smacked Dean on the shoulder through the window and walked away.</p><p>Unsure of what Bobby had in store for him, Dean threw the car in drive, pointed her in the direction Bobby had told him to go, and drove.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He found Castiel in a corn field those twenty minutes out, looking up at the never-changing sky, clad in the same damn trench coat Dean was pretty sure he didn’t know how to exist without. He pulled Baby over to the side and rolled the window down, watching as Cas lowered his head at an angle and watched Dean in turn. His expression was impassive, if a little frustrated, but Dean raised his hand and beckoned him over anyway, and Cas obliged like he always did.</p><p>“Hello, Dean,” Cas greeted in that exact same way that Dean knew so well.</p><p>“Hop in,” Dean replied, looking out the windshield instead of directly at the angel, something about the sight of him so close flashing memories he didn’t want reminding of right then. He smacked his hand against the door, the sharp noise dispelling them. “We’ve got some things to talk about.”</p><p>“I hope one of those topics is on your premature death,” Cas grumbled, but made his way around to the passenger side all the same.</p><p>“Only if you promise not to rain hellfire on me.”</p><p>“You can’t rain hellfire in—” Cas started as he dropped into the seat and shut his door, then stopped when he realized Dean wasn’t being literal.</p><p>Dean’s hand twitched on the gear shift, but he didn’t put it in drive. Something told him driving and talking wasn’t a good idea, not until he’d gotten some grounding first.</p><p>So, instead, he removed his hand from the shift, turned the car off, and twisted in his seat to look directly at Cas, only to find him already staring back, waiting for an explanation. Dean barely even thought about what he wanted to say before he was blurting out, “It was an accident. Something went wrong, and I paid the price.”</p><p>Cas’ eyes widened minutely, a muscle fluttering in his jaw as he visibly clenched it, and he turned to stare out the windshield. A poor choice of words on Dean’s part, but he hadn’t realized until after he’d already said it.</p><p>“I know, I should have let Sam get help,” Dean said quickly before Cas could offer any kind of verbal response, turning away again so he couldn’t see Cas roll his eyes in reaction to the haste. It would make him backtrack, or change subjects, or say exactly what he didn’t mean to say, and he had to get the right thing out while he had the ball rolling. “Bobby already tore me a new one over that. Do me a favor and don’t add to the carnage. I’m still healing.”</p><p>“You were scared,” Cas told him matter-of-factly, completely shattering Dean’s planned tirade. Startled, and maybe a little offended at the effortless jump to the conclusion, Dean looked back at Cas, all the futile things he thought he’d have to say in his defense dying a quick, brutal death in his mouth until there was nothing left but to stare uselessly in utter silence. Cas’ eyes slid their way to Dean’s, not blinking, the same pure blue they’d always been. The same blue Dean had once upon a time been so damn sure he’d never get to see again.</p><p>And then Dean realized: he hadn’t needed to say a word—Cas had already known. Cas had always known Dean the best, and Dean had always been too emotionally destructive to allow himself to acknowledge that someone was capable of that at all.</p><p>Once again, Dean might not have had the words—but this time, he didn’t need them. Not with Cas. Cas had them himself, and he knew how to interpret where Dean couldn’t figure out how to speak.</p><p>“You lost so much, Dean,” Cas continued where Dean didn’t say anything at all. “I’m not happy you’re here already—far from it, actually, I was furious when I first found out. You didn’t even <em>try</em> praying to me to see if I could answer, and I was very insulted by that.” Dean couldn’t help it, he snorted in response to that. The smile Cas gave him in return was brief, but wry. Dean knew Cas too well not to think that was funny, thinking of all the prayers he’d given to him over the years and how they all had gone when he hadn’t realized Cas couldn’t answer. Cas sobered up before Dean could live out the short moment of amusement and continued, “but I understand the fear you had. I know why you didn’t want to let him go. I understand the need you felt for him to stay, just in case you didn’t get to say goodbye. Sam was the one thing you couldn’t let go silently, not again.” He lowered his voice to that deep, soft gravel and finished, “I’ve been there. I know what it’s like.”</p><p>Dean looked at Cas, the moment with Billie coming to mind so sharply that something in his chest fluttered in response. He’d been trying to let Cas talk about it when Cas was ready to, but, now, he was almost certain Cas was never going to mention it at all. And Dean couldn’t keep going on pretending it hadn’t happened. It was too important to Cas—it was too important to <em>Dean</em>.</p><p>“Back in the bunker,” Dean said, then had to stop and allow himself a moment to recalibrate as the end result of that event rushed to the forefront of his mind and begged him to blurt out whatever came to mind first. Because thinking before talking was never exactly Dean’s strong suit, but he’d be damned if he let this one get away on him too soon.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything, Dean,” Cas started while Dean collected himself, but Dean held up a hand and shook his head, stopping Cas before he could go further.</p><p>“No, stop. You did that the last time I tried to tell you something to your face. You’re not giving me an out this time.” Cas pursed his lips, eyebrows pulling together slightly in that familiar way they always did, but he kept silent and allowed Dean to continue speaking. “Back in the bunker,” Dean tried again, ignoring the way his mouth once again went dry in response. “I didn’t think you were capable of that, to be honest. That’s why I didn’t— Shit, what you said to me— When you <em>told</em> me you—” He worked his lips around words that didn’t sound right, things that felt too wrong coming from someone like him. Nothing felt right. It all felt too late.</p><p>Finally, in a voice that almost seemed like it was coming from someone else, he said, without looking anywhere but his white knuckles against the black of the steering wheel, “Me too, Cas.”</p><p>Cas didn’t answer. Dean didn’t move. For a long, almost painful moment, neither of them did anything at all.</p><p>And then Cas said, “Dean.”</p><p>Dean looked up, and Cas was smiling at him. Not with a grin, not with any kind of emotion that could even come close to being elated—just a gentle, simple smile, so similar to the one he’d given Dean just before the Shadow had taken him away. It was nothing grand, nothing earth-shattering, but Dean was pretty sure his heart forgot he wasn’t alive in the first place and stopped dead in his chest right then and there anyway.</p><p>“I’m sorry I let you go before I could tell you that,” Dean said slowly.</p><p>Cas shook his head. “It wasn’t in the having,” he reminded him.</p><p>“That doesn’t mean you couldn’t have had it,” Dean asserted firmly, suddenly furious with himself. “You sacrificed yourself for me, man, and I couldn’t even think fast enough to say anything worth dying for.”</p><p>“It wasn’t on you, Dean. It was my choice.”</p><p>“It wasn’t a choice at all. It was that or letting Billie kill both of us.”</p><p>Cas stared at Dean with a hard expression. “Regardless of what you want to tell yourself, you were worth dying for to me. I was happy with the saying. You can’t deny that. It was why the Empty came at all.”</p><p>Dean snapped his teeth together. Cas had him there.</p><p>Annoyed, Dean wrenched his gaze away to glower out the windshield, watching the corn sway in the wind. It took Cas reaching out and grasping Dean on the arm to get him to turn back again, and his other arm burned with a phantom contact. He knew Cas’ hand had been in this position many times before, and something in his body remembered the very first time like Cas had never let go.</p><p>“I have it now,” Cas said slowly, “and Jack saved me from the Empty. That’s all that matters.”</p><p>Dean fought the urge to roll his eyes and lost. “Fine,” he grumbled. “You win this argument.”</p><p>Cas smirked. “I didn’t realize we were arguing. I would have put in more effort.”</p><p>“<em>Can it</em>, you feathery pain in the ass.”</p><p>Cas hadn’t let his grip on Dean’s arm go yet. Dean reached up and placed his hand over Cas’ and squeezed. Cas squeezed back. They released each other’s grip at the same time, holding the gaze for a beat longer.</p><p>“Cas,” Dean said cheerily the moment it broke, turning the car on again and gripping the gearshift tight, “whaddya say we go for a drive?”</p><p>“I don’t think I’m being given a choice on the matter,” Cas replied, and he was right. He wasn’t letting Cas out of his sight anytime soon. Not when he'd finally gotten him back again.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>They drove down the road heaven stretched out before them, both silent save for the mixtape Dean had made for Cas once upon a time, which he apparently always kept in one of his pockets, blasting through the speakers at a volume Sam would have hated to sit through. Time was a strange thing, Dean realized as they cruised along aimlessly for what might have been a day, but the sun never set, and the sky never changed. What felt like an hour had also felt like a day, like a year, and like nothing more than the blink of an eye, and the longer time flowed around him, the more he felt like he was losing his grasp on how to keep it. He’d always wanted all the time in the world to do everything he could ever think of, and now, there in heaven, he had that and more.</p><p>And yet, everything about it still seemed not quite right to Dean. It irked him, he realized. It irked him a lot.</p><p>“Something is bothering you,” Cas said before Dean could do much more than settle on the realization himself, the music very nearly drowning him out completely. Dean turned it down.</p><p>“Is it heaven?” he asked drily. “Is that what’s got you so up and attentive to what I’m feeling? I barely even had a chance to be bothered and you’re already up in my grill.”</p><p>“I’ve always had an enhanced awareness for what you felt when I was able to understand it at all,” Cas corrected. “However, I chose not to remark on it most of the time, because it was clear you didn’t like it when I did.”</p><p>“<em>Most</em> of the time,” Dean repeated wryly.</p><p>Cas shrugged. “Sometimes it bothered me not knowing more than I cared about frustrating you over it.”</p><p>Dean shook his head in disbelief. “Really took that ‘don’t ever change’ to heart, didn’t you?” he grumbled, then held up a finger. “Rhetorical. Don’t answer.”</p><p>“I was aware of that. I’m also aware you’re trying to deflect away from my question.”</p><p>“Of course something is bothering me,” Dean said hotly. “I’m dead, Cas. I’m dead from a stupid mistake and Sam is down there dealing with life alone. I told myself I wouldn’t do that again.” He ground his teeth together. “We were supposed to go out together. Hell, we told Chuck we’d kill each other, and we meant it.”</p><p>“You two always were particularly dramatic,” Cas said, like he was imparting some especially insightful information on Dean with that statement.</p><p>Dean laughed derisively. “You know, there was a time when this would have been my perfect ending.”</p><p>Cas looked over at Dean, hands folded neatly in his lap, and the scenery passed by around them, turning his dark hair flickering shades of golds and greens. Dean could see them flashing out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>“Do you remember— No, you weren’t there for that one, actually. You were busy being brainwashed.” Though Dean couldn’t see the wince he knew Cas made at the mention, he felt the presence of it like a niggle of guilt somewhere in his gut. He ignored it, but he told himself to be a little easier the next time, if he ever had to bring it up again. “Kevin had us hunting down hellhounds on this ranch Crowley had commandeered, and I remember—so <em>fucking</em> clearly—pulling Sam aside and telling him this, <em>this exactly</em>, was my perfect ending. Me dying on a hunt, Sam living on without me, getting to do the exact thing I’d deprived him of without me there to drag him down again. It was what I had always wanted ever since I got him back in the game and realized what I’d done.” He hesitated, then said, “It wasn’t until years later I decided that was complete bullshit. I guess it was already too late by then. I’d said what I wanted, and fate had decided not to listen to anything after that. To anyone.” And then, after a moment, he added on: “You know, I think I didn’t even mean it when I said it that time, either. Even then, I knew it wasn’t true anymore. I just didn’t know how to come to terms with that. All I wanted was for Sam to understand where I was coming from.” He huffed a bitter laugh. “Never expected it to actually happen.”</p><p>And Cas said, quietly, “This is not the end Sam wanted.”</p><p>“No,” Dean agreed, just as quietly. “It’s not the one I wanted either. Not really. Now Sam has to deal with my mistakes. And I get to sit by and watch him live through my decision.” Even in death, he was making mistakes at Sam’s expense. Fate was a cruel, cruel bitch.</p><p>Cas shook his head slowly. “You were only trying to do him right. You deserved more than this world gave you, Dean.”</p><p>Dean felt something in his chest twinge sharply at that, like a guitar string brutally plucked. It resonated up his sternum and nearly hurt, whatever it was, and he forced himself to swallow around it. He glanced over at Cas, only once. Cas was already looking back. “You, too, Cas,” he told him, and if there was a taste of fury to his tone, Cas didn’t call him out on it. “You did, too.”</p><p>A light sprung to life in Cas’ eyes as Dean spoke, but Cas only said, earnestly enough to make Dean slightly uncomfortable, “Thank you.”</p><p>“Hey, someone has to tell you. And I’ve got plenty of time now to make up for lost ground.” Dean scoffed, craning his neck to look out the window. “How big <em>is</em> this place, anyway? I feel like I could drive for forty years in one direction and get absolutely nowhere.”</p><p>“It’s heaven, Dean,” Cas reminded him. “There is no concept of a limit here.”</p><p>“You think I’d be happier about that open road thing, considering,” Dean grumbled.</p><p>“You could always just go back if heaven isn’t to your liking,” suggested Cas blithely. When Dean only gave him a sharp, incredulous look out of the corner of his eye, he gave him a distinctly <em>Castiel</em> look and reminded him, because he was the authority on the matter, after all, “It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve done it.”</p><p>Dean pulled the car over again, just so he could specifically twist in his seat and stare at Cas dead-on. “What do you <em>mean</em>, I could go back?” he repeated, fighting to keep his composure.</p><p>“You helped take care of God, Dean,” Cas replied, dry as ever. “You gave him free passes on the stupid mistakes he made. I think he’ll be willing to give you a free pass in turn on the one you made.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t help it—he straight up gaped at Cas in shock. How had that not occurred to him? How had it not occurred to him to even think to <em>ask</em>?</p><p>Excitement sparked to life in his chest, radiating out and zipping up his spine. He blinked rapidly, cycling through expressions of elation as it all came together in his head.</p><p>“Holy shit,” he breathed. “I could ask him to put me back. I could go back to Sam and do it right!”</p><p>Cas nodded, clearly pleased with himself. Something occurred to Dean then, and he felt his excitement suddenly dampen like a firecracker doused in water. Before Dean could say anything, though, Cas said, “I’ll go with you.”</p><p>“Is that—” Dean started, confused. “Is that possible? Can you just live on Earth like you did before?”</p><p>“I believe I would have to ask him to put me back as human if I were to come along, yes,” Cas agreed. He didn’t sound upset about the fact, only contemplative. “There are some restrictions to my grace now that I’m explicitly tied with the new reality of heaven. I’d prefer to leave it here in case Jack has need of it. I’ll simply ask for it back when I return.”</p><p>Emotions warred in Dean’s head as Cas’ words and the reality he was being presented with processed in his mind. How was he supposed to ask Cas to stay with him? He’d lost him so many times—this was the time he finally thought he’d never have to let go again.</p><p>“I want to go with you,” Cas asserted quickly, once again aware of Dean’s turmoil before he could say anything on the matter.</p><p>Dean pressed his lips together. He wanted to tell Cas no, to try and convince Cas not to give it all up for him. For one human—something he’d never been able to forget about—<em>again</em>. He’d already given up so much for Dean over the years. How could he ask for more?</p><p>“You can’t do that, Cas. You’d be giving up heaven and forced to become one of us, and we know how much you liked that the last time,” he pointed out, but even he could hear it was a poorly hidden plea for exactly that. “Besides, you just got here. And they just rebuilt the whole damn place, too.”</p><p>But Cas only looked at him, that same, small smile curling his lips again. “I’ve come to realize over time that I don’t need heaven,” he told Dean gently. “Not when I’m with you.”</p><p>Something unnameable fired to life in Dean’s chest, and, as if it was exactly what he’d meant to do all along, Dean leaned over and pressed his lips to Cas’. Cas startled, but it only took a heartbeat for him to reciprocate. It took far longer for either of them to pull away again.</p><p>“If you want me to come with you,” Cas said, somewhat breathlessly, as Dean sat back in his seat again. “I will.”</p><p>“Of course I want you to come with me,” Dean told him. “I need you. I’ve always needed you.”</p><p><em>I need you</em>, Dean had always told Cas. Because needing someone had always meant more to him than loving someone. It had never occurred to him until he was losing Cas for what he thought was the final time that anyone could be the source of both. It terrified him, that fact that he both loved and needed Cas, but he was willing to push past that fear if it only meant never losing Cas again.</p><p>“I know,” Cas said, and then turned his smile forward while Dean blinked at him indignantly. <em>He</em> was the Han Solo here, after all. Cas ignored him and said, “Let’s go find Jack, then. Before Sam gets into something he shouldn’t.”</p><p>And, really, Dean had nothing to say to that, because he wanted nothing more to do that exactly.</p><p>So, Dean threw the car back in drive and, with Cas by his side, went to track down Jack and get his free pass back to the one place that needed him. To find his way back to where he truly belonged, beside his brother and his best friend—his love, if he was being sappy about it, which he might very well never be—roaming through the same damn country that kept turning up different ways to try and kill them. To take his final chance and live it the way he always wanted to—the way he always needed to. And, when it was finally time, to go out in the blaze of glory he knew he deserved.</p><p>It was time for Dean Winchester to go home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cas immediately following Dean’s “me too”: *gay panic but gonna play it cool so Dean doesn’t spook or something* dEaN.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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